3 harmful things I wish Christians would stop doing towards the LGBTQ+ community

It’s taken me many years to say that I identify as a queer Christian. For years, I didn’t know that could exist. And even the word “Christian” still isn’t quite settled. Will people think I go to church every week? Will people think I’m judging them? Will people not like me because I identify with a group that has harmed so many?

Maybe, but I’ll take that chance. I still love Jesus and believe the Church has the potential to do more good than harm. I’ve listed some of the harm I’ve experienced and noticed, with ways to hopefully turn those behaviors around. 

  1. Stop saying “God loves you anyway.” No one wants to be loved anyway. 

If your partner looked at you and said, “Gosh I love that I make you laugh every day, but your laugh is the most obnoxious noise on the planet,” you wouldn’t remember the part about how they love to make you laugh. That statement would feel so far away from love. 

So when well-meaning Christians say, “God loves you anyway” or even just “You are so loved,” it doesn’t feel like love to those who identify as queer.

Instead say, “God loves you as you are in your full, queer glory.”

It’s unfortunately the default for queer-identifying people to not trust someone until they say something along those lines. We (for the most part) know that God loves us. We don’t know the conditions of other people’s love. 

  1. Stop arguing our existence. Trust us when we say we were made this way. 

I don’t have the emotional space for theological arguments, but I can offer you some books that may help you on your way to getting here. God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vines and UnClobber by Colby Martin would be a good place to start. 

Please hear this: God already told me that I am made gay in His image. He calls it good. 

Instead, affirm that God’s creation is intentionally diverse and couldn’t possibly be constrained to only heterosexual partnerships and gender binaries. 

  1. Stop turning a blind eye to our transgender family. They are vulnerable and need your support. 

This article is a great resource to better understand why this community is more vulnerable. From lack of legal protection, increased poverty to violence, there are too many reasons for why the Church needs to do better by the trans community. 

Instead, encourage your church to support your local trans community by providing housing resources and financial support for gender-affirming surgeries (which are literally life-savers). If you need help finding ways to connect in your community, feel free to email me your location and I would be happy to help. 

Again – the Church has the potential to do more good than harm, but I wonder, if we could measure both, how would the scales tip? 

These three ways to do good are small but I believe mighty. Continuing the harm comes at a cost, whereas turning those behaviors around has the ability to save lives


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